Envy

What is envy?

An emotion that "occurs when a person lacks another’s (perceived) superior quality, achievement, or possession and either desires it or wishes that the other lacked it.

Do you know a person can like you so much to the point were they aren’t sure if the love or hate you? It’s a thin line.. They envy & admire you all in the same breath. that’s kind of dangerous to me.

How do you deal with people like that? You always have to watch your back.. You never know what your going to get . Never sure of who’s with you and who is against you.

Funny how people envy those who have less than the next man. They may not be able to obtain all that the others have or push a Benz.. You see them and you see much more.. You see what you lack within. But instead of hating.. Why not appreciate? Especially if your THAT “close ” to them.. You call them your brother , sister , friend… yeah.. Right. Sounds like frienemies to me. But it’s something about that person’s character that you envy. Their strengths and there knowledge. Their ability to light up a room without saying a word. But you know.. Kanye West said it best … “The people highest up got the lowest self esteem”

So which category do you fall under ?

Transitions

People tend to come to me for advice or for words or wisdom , and sometimes depending on how I’m feeling or what type of mood I’m in I can usually deliver.. Always have something to say or a point of view on a situation. Always have an answer.. Many people don’t see that side of me, only a selected few. I’m still wondering who I can run to…

As a kids I was so free & fearless. Nothing was going stop me. I was so much of myself ..take it or take it. There wasn’t a choice at all. The older I got and as I started to witness things… and go through things, having no choice in it all. Changed me. When you start having to deal with things like that you have no control over it really does take away your innocents to a degree.. your purity.

I spent SO many years just feeling hateful and bitter.. because I felt like I was robbed. I was a teenager I wasn’t living life as a teen. I was too busy stressing, suffering, and carrying loads. But I had to pray and ask god to release me from that bondage . I felt & also knew I couldn’t continue to carry on the way I was. It was just damaging me as a person. I didn’t want to spend the REST of my life like that. I’m older now and I have more control over me. I wasn’t going to let my past take over my future. It took a minute. But I’m so glad I took a stand for my life when I did. Now I’m a stronger person. I don’t regret ANYTHING from my past because it made me who I am today. Even if people don’t see me in depth or not. I know.. & that’s all that matters.

Resisting information .

Okay so i was thinking. and i noticed.. most of the time your better off NOT knowing something. But the flesh is weak , SO eager and in reality you could have lived w/out certain information. For example. A family member might have said something about you to another family member. THEN they want to tell you... (KNOWING that’s its going to ruffle some feathers..) Once that information enters your mind. It’s NOT going anywhere .. that’s it. It’s embedded. You’ll either do one or two things.

• Confront them.
• Don’t say anything about it and hold it in.

Confronting causes confrontation, holding in develops dislike/ hate. Or just gets your mind running and ticking. So now what? You now start to wish you never receive the information at ALL. So the questions is.. Can you resist? Is it THAT important? Do we have to always have something to gossip about? I know we all want to have something to talk about and discuss here and there.. But is it all worth it?

Today I make a change for myself.. I’m watching what I allow people to transfer into my thoughts. Thats one thing my mother always told us growing up. It's funny how all the little things you learn growing up start to come into play the older you get..and the more you live. when your young you don't fully understand all the time but you live and you learn.. or thats what your supposed to do. I wont receive all the negative gossip and unnecessary information. It’s just trouble.

- Kelly Bre .